Safe Negro Report: Jim Webb touches the hem of Obama’s garment


 As promised, The “Safe Negro Report” is on the case, monitoring the exploits of Senator Barack Obama as he continues his trek to seek the validation of white folks from sea to shining sea. 

This week, Senator Obama, as if clad in a holy garment of virtue, came to rescue Jim Webb’s flagging campaign for the United States Senate against America’s most ignorant confederate, Senator George-No-matter-what-Mama-said,-I-ain’t-Jewish-Allen.

Former Reagan Navy Secretary Jim Webb, you’ll recall, is the former conservative Republican turned Democrat that has had a difficult time attacking George Allen over the manna from heaven “Macaca” incident because of his own issues.

Anyhoo, Jim Webb reached out to touch the hem of Barack’s garment yesterday because of a certain Negro state senator who lost his damn mind and endorsed the ignorant confederate. 

Lambert’s switch was indicative of the black political class being restless and what not.  Probably had somethin’ to do with his repeatedly calling Affirmative Action “state sponsored racism” and the triflin little in outreach done in black communities.  In short, the political Negroes weren’t feeling him.

Now, with Barack’s magnanimous blessing, a private anointing and admonition to “go and sin no more”, that’s over and done with.  The Negroes can cease and desist their grumblin’ and Barack, the safe Negro, can go back to his quest to seek the validation of white folks. 

Who woulda thunk that a black man could be brought in to absolve a white man he doesn’t even know of all his sins?

Let us pray that after his magnificent healing and blessing, Jim Webb can keep his damn foot out of his mouth regarding Affirmative Action.



4 thoughts on “Safe Negro Report: Jim Webb touches the hem of Obama’s garment

  1. This is brilliant satire, but your misunderstanding of Webb’s position on Affirmative Action is lamentable.

    Webb has always supported AA in it’s original intent: to right the wrongs of slavery. Inspired by the 13th Amendment and as originally framed by Johnson, that’s what AA was to do. When it was expanded to today’s “diversity programs” it sought to help many ethnic groups who never suffered direct governmental subjugation.

    This is unfare to the economically disadvantaged caucasian population. If left in its original form, to aid the economic development of the African American community, Webb supports Affirmative Action. If it’s going to expand out to all Americans who are economically disadvantaged, then it should not exclude economically disadvantaged caucasians. That’s called fairness.

  2. I dunno – I have my own concerns about Webb’s progressive credibility, but at the same time, he is so much preferable to Allen (alas, I am so far left of center that I inevitably end up voting for a lesser of two evils). As far as Obama is concerned, he has let me down on some things after a tremendously inspiring speech at the DNC in 04. I dunno that he should be condemned for seeking approval – he is a politician – that is what politicians do. He is trying to be president. I worry that any and all politicians sell out their morals and/or what is really and truly the “RIGHT” thing to do (at least as I define it), and I think Barack is no different than Bill Clinton is no different than JFK, is no different than Webb or anyone else.

    Webb is saying what he believes to be palatable, and still be able to move the country forward in the direction he thinks it ought to go. The Affirmative Action backlash has been here for about 15 or so years, and the university admissions lawsuits, lawsuits against
    “preferences” and “quotas” in awarding govt contracts will keep on coming. How do we address this in a useful way? I would vote for serious, no-nonsense conversations throughout America on race. I do them with my middle school students and I think it helps us start to work through some of the lingering issues. We as the adults have to have these types of conversations – how I as a white man experience (and don’t experience) race, how my black co-workers, students, neighbors experience it, how my latino neighbors deal with it etc… However, I don’t think a lot of America is ready or willing to do that yet. And if forced, they will be like cornered animals. So what do we do? We sneak the conversation in with talk of redefining and tweaking affirmative action – lets start with asking what remains to be done and how can affirmative action address it?

    I dunno – I’m rambling. I don’t think its bad for him to bring this up and start this particular conversation. I may not agree with him, but at least we are talking about it.

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