Skeptical Brotha’s House and Senate Predictions

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RHODE ISLAND

Rhode Island Senator Lincoln Chafee, a New England Republican patrician in the George Herbert Walker Bush tradition, will lose to former RI Atty Gen, Sheldon Whitehouse.  In effect, switching out one patrician for another.  Appointed to this seat after the death of his predecessor, his father John Chafee,  the Senator has been suffering from a considerable stature gap.  He is not revered by the electorate like his daddy and seems like a lightweight.  Pollster.com’s average of the last 5 polls has Chafee at 41%.  6 points down from his challenger.  The party is over.  Whitehouse wins 54%-46%

TENNESSEE

Harold Whore,  Jr has run the race of the year.  He has left his hard-right opponents with hard-ons because they cannot defeat him.  There is no issue on which he is out of the mainstream with Tennessee voters, the race boils down to just that: race.   Does the electorate of Tennessee want to exorcise the ghost of Jim Crow?  My gut feeling is that they do and will chose as their representative in the patrician chamber, a young brotha on the make.  Bob Corker is a hapless redneck out of his league who shoulda had this seat in the bag and has struggled since the primary.  I can’t wait to see the look on his face when he concedes to a Negro. I can’t stand Harold, but I will not let that stand in the way of praising his political skills.  He’s almost as smooth as Bill Clinton, a complement I don’t give out lightly.  This race will go down to the wire and will be a nail biter.  The last 10 polls on this race have Harold down four which is in the margin of error and well within the margin of  hope.  The Whore wins 50.5% to 49.5%

MISSOURI

Senator Jim Talent of Missouri defeated the widow of former Gov. Mel Carnahan, to win this seat 4 years ago.  Governor Carnahan was running for this seat in 2000, held by John Ashcroft, Dubya’s first Attorney General when he was killed in a dramatic plane crash that also claimed the life of one of his sons.  The acting governor told the people that if the Governor was posthumously elected, he would appoint Missouri’s first lady to the Senate.  The people rose up and elected a dead man and his widow was appointed.  Never comfortable with the spotlight, or with the role of a senator, Mrs. Carnahan suffered when compared to her opponent, a Richard Nixon clone if there ever was one.  Anyway, Claire McCaskill, our nominee this time, is the sitting state Auditor and a lawyer and former DA of Jackson County.  Miss Girl knows how to kick ass without coming off like a bitch and messing up her hair.  She defeated the sitting Democratic Governor two years ago to claim the nomination for herself.  She almost became the first female democratic governor.  The last ten polls have the two separated by a single point.   McCaskill wins 51%-49%.

 

NEW JERSEY

The only democratic held seat that is competitive, New Jersey looked like a GOP upset in the beginning.   The wave dynamics of a backlash election have taken hold now and having the sterling GOP political name of Tom Kean, Jr. son of 9/11 commissioner Tom Kean, Sr. ain’t helping.  Appointed Senator Bob Menendez, the senate’s third Hispanic and second Cuban will win his first statewide race 53%-47%

PENNSYLVANIA

Two term GOP Senator Rick Santorum’s career is ovah, Baby.   Stick a fork it, honey.  It”s done.     Bob Casey takes this seat with nothing under 55%.

OHIO

The GOP collapsed in Ohio faster than Dick Cheney’s approval rating after he shot a man in the face on a duck hunting trip.  There is probably no statewide race winnable for them here.  Senator Mike Dewine’s career is ovahand his successor Sherrod Brown, a congressman, gets the promotion.  Brown wins 56%-44%.

Virginia

The Ignorant Confederate’s career is ovah as well.  Remember this summer when the likelihood of a George Allen Presidential campaign was a sure thing?  It all seems so sad.  Forgive me while I wipe away a bitter crocodile tear.  I will treasure the look on the face of this insincere bastard as he concedes defeat to a man he isn’t fit to hold a jockstrap for.  His racism and unbelievable denials make the confederate bandwagon of confused colored folks that endorsed him look like the fools that they are.  With the power invested in me by this blog, I hereby revoke their membership in the race.  Webb wins 52% -48%.

MONTANA 

It seems like the people will be pruning the U.S. Senate of some of it’s racist deadwood this year.  Another unnecessary Bigot will be removed when the Senator from Big Sky country is removed by the State Senate President Jon Tester.  In one fell swoop, he will become the most famous crew cut on Capitol Hill.  The last 10 polls separate these two by four points.  Tester wins 52%-48% in this deep red state.

CONNECTICUT

Unfortunately for the blogosphere, and the people of Connecticut, Joe Lieberwhore will be re-elected to the Senate as an Independent against his democratic challenger.  The last ten polls have Lamont and Lieberwhore separated by ten points.  It just ain’t gonna happen.  Lieberwhore 52%-42%-6%.

Maryland

This democratic open seat will be held by Congressman Ben Cardin.  Michael Steele’s ridiculous and empty campaign is about the same thing Seinfeld was about: nothing.  I don’t really care how many discontented Negroes he gets to jump off a moving train for him, Black folk will not be persuaded and white folk will be put off by his endorsements from Don King and Mike Tyson.  Cardin will pull this out 55%-45%.

THE HOUSE

The GOP will lose the House before the count ever leaves the Northeast.  New York, Connecticut,  Ohio, and Pennsylvania will lose it for the GOP.  The GOP will lose every single toss up in the aforementioned states.  The Democrats could come out of this thing with a 46 seat gain.  I will go more conservative and predict a 35 seat gain. 

Before we celebrate we must do our duty and vote and remind others to do so as well.  Don’t forget y’all’s kinfolk and your play sistah’s cousins and them.  Y’all hear me? Vote.

Democrats will control both houses before the night is done.  I will be miserably drunk, and hopefully, I can get laid.