Happy Birthday to me

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I have offically turned 36 and I feel so old.   Am I crazy, am I supposed to feel this way?  I don’t get it.  This has been a consistent thing for 6 years now.  I hope it passes.   Reflection is never easy and the regrets are mounting, but I am resolving to press on with a positive attitude.  I am still here, and for some reason I thought I would not be.  It’s good to be alive and to reflect on the blessings of this life and some goals for the future.   By forty, I’d like to be finished with grad school, make a career change, and have child.   Most folk have achieved these things already by forty and I feel like I’m playing catch up.   Anyway, I can’t wait to get home and get another piece of mama’s carrot cake because mama don’t cook much and the cake she made me is from scratch.

15 thoughts on “Happy Birthday to me

  1. Happy Birthday Skeptical Brotha!!!

    Aging is hard when you don’t feel as though you have done all the things you wanted to do by XYZ age. The good news is that compared to 90% or so of the world’s population, you are way ahead in the game called LIFE!!!

    We all have regrets … or rather things we have done in the past that we can learn and grow from and that’s what builds character and makes life about the journey instead of the destination. (sorry about the cliche, but it’s true).

    The idea that life is a race to “success” and only the best women/men win and thus are worthy, is a white supremacist patriarchal capitalist invention ;P … don’t let it oppress you. Just keep living your beautiful life knowing that you are on the right track to your destiny.

    Hope you enjoyed your day!!!

  2. I had that talk with myself (not being where you want to be) over half my lifetime ago. You either achieve your goal or pick new goals and achieve THEM.

    You’ll be fine, I’m sure. And happy birfday.

  3. Happy Birthday!

    As Tower of Power said, “You’re still a young man, babe…”

    wow, you, Steve Gilliard, and me all share the same birthday, so happy birthday to us. May Steve rest in peace.

  4. Skeptical Brotha,

    wishing you peace and light in the next year. I just came across your blog page today and I feel inspired by you. Just skimming your page, i can see we have some things in common. Glad to see an intelligent brotha out here sharing his knowledge with the world.

    (low key, I gotta step my blog game up! I haven’t added an entry for months but now that I see your page, I have to get my page right!!)

    Once again, Happy Birthday.

    NLM

  5. Carrot cake from mom–yum! Feeling the strong need to phone my mom and beg for the INCREDIBLE cream cheese one she makes! Perhaps our moms can have a carrot cake bake-off with us being the judges?😉

    Ahhh, my dear, to be 36 again. I’ve got a few years on you (not THAT many!) and can totally relate to the “what ifs” and “why nots” we put ourselves through. Really no need for them since life is gonna happen with or without our silly, serve-no-good regrets. Try not to have them because everything you have been through has become an integral part of who you are today. Am I where I thought I’d be at this age? Nope. Have I had some incredible, fantastic, memorable times along the way? Most definitely. Have I had some heart-breaking, “what was I thinking” and “why WASN’T I thinking” times thrown in? Oh yes! But without sounding TOO much like a fortune cookie, start today as the beginning of some wonderful chapter in which YOU are the one and only author with the ability to write on that page whatever you darn well choose! (And make sure part of what you choose is to continue blogging. ;))

    Again, Happy Belated Birthday!🙂

    PS The great thing about being the only author is that if you don’t like what you’ve written you can just start over again. I won’t EVEN tell you what chapter I’m on!😉

  6. Just be happy you made it this far in a system designed to sap the life force outta you…

    As they say getting old sucks but it beats the alternative!

  7. Renee

    So you feel old?? I am 44 years old. I am healthy, I sleep well, I live indoors, I eat what I want when I want. I live in a country that is not perfect nor it’s citizens but it it the best place to be! I don’t have a lot of money in the bank, but I can pay my bills on time. I have people that love me and I love them..unconditionally even though I don’t deserve it. I thank God for every day. I will take every day that the Lord gives me and if you live to see 44, may it be a good one.
    Happy Birthday to you!!! May God Bless you with many more…

  8. When we have a birthday, we tend to inventory our life. I can relate to that feeling you feel, but it will pass when you hit that magical age of 40. Then you will be wishing the years slow down a little.

    Just thinking of your mother’s carrot cake makes me want to go whip one up.

    Happy Birthday🙂

  9. Young black man

    Happy birthday! It’s a shame I wouldn’t have known but for the blog. Anyway, enjoy yourself and don’t be too critical. After all, your age/wisdom and intelligence puts you far ahead of the curve!

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