Copying front runner Mike Huckabee and sinking in national polls like a stone, a desperate Rudy Giuliani came out with his own holiday ad to deceive and reassure gullible Republicans.
Rudy: There a many things I wish for this Holiday Season. I wish for peace with strength, secure borders, a government that spends less than it takes in, lower taxes for our business and families, and I really hope that all the presidential candidates can just get along.
Santa: Ho, Ho, Ho, I was with ya right up until that last one.
Rudy: Can’t have everything. I’m Rudy Giuliani and I approved this message. Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays.
This is the parody ad I would have him release.
Rudy: There are many things I wish for this Holiday Season. I wish for another 9/11 to scare the American people into voting for me, a government that spies on its own people, huge tax loopholes for the rich, and I really hope that before Bernie Kerik goes to jail, his mob friends will help me rub out the smug prick with perfect hair, Mitt Romney.
Judi, the social climbing homewrecker: I wanna be First Lady and America’s Queen.
Black Santa: Ho, I was with ya right up until that last one.
Rudy: You black bastard, I’ll teach you to never say everything that pops into your head to a white woman.
Rudy’s security team shoots Santa in the back 41 times and calls it justifiable homicide because Black Santa “fit the description.”
Rudy: I’m Rudy Giuliani and I enthusiastically approved this gross display of racist police state fascism. Merry Christmas. Seig Heil.