Chris Christie: an imminent threat in 2016

Cory Booker, Chris Christie

I’ve got a confession to make: I’ve got a bug up my ass about Chris Christie.  He scares me in a way that no Republican does.  It occurs to me that as Mitt Romney sinks into the quicksand of evasive, duplicitous bullshit of his own making, Chris Christie would be having a much better go of it this year against President Obama.  Although I’m loathe to writing the following words, I must acknowledge that Ann Coulter, the High Priestess of Hate, was right when she said, “If you don’t run Chris Christie, Romney will be the nominee and we’ll lose.” And lose they will this year. Hallelujah! Thank you, Jesus!

The governor of New Jersey isn’t a wooden establishment patrician that lacks a common touch. He is a relatable everyman that has a broad appeal, which keeps me up at night.  If he’s smart, he’ll use Ann Coulter as a battering ram and bridge to the fringe crazies she’s made a fortune from as a best-selling author.  Her support alone makes him viable and his recent cozying up to a racist assclown like Steve King indicates he’s quite serious about exploring a run in 2016. I miss the good ole days when “imminent threats” were dealt with by preemptive war.  Chris Christie is an imminent threat to Democratic designs on the White House in 2016 and we need to declare war on his ambitions. Now!

That’s where Cory Booker comes in.  The only way to head off Chris Christie in 2016 is to defeat him in 2013. I’m not one of those who believe Christie won’t run for re-election. He loves the power too much and New Jersey has one of the most powerful governorships in the nation. There’s no better way to position oneself on the right than to vanquish an ambitious Negro for power.   If he’s smart, Christie will assemble some of the best GOP talent in 2013 and their job will be to amass a huge war chest and a landslide victory in preparation for 2016. I remain unconvinced that Christie is beatable in 2013, but I know full well that Cory Booker is the only contender that could pull off that heavy lift.

Booker, if he’s also smart, will assemble the best talent the Democratic Party has to offer and will turn 2013 into a marquee race and opening skirmish for 2016.  All he has to do is sell his party on the necessity of defeating Christie and eliminating him as a future threat. He should be able to do that by sweet talking some heavyweight Obama bundlers into helping him out. Get your popcorn, people. This race is gonna be the fun one to watch.

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Elizabeth Edwards confronts Ann Coulter, the fascist strumpet

Hat Tip: The Hill by Klaus Marre

With the second quarter drawing to a close, the presidential campaign of former North Carolina senator John Edwards (D) on Wednesday again turned to one of its most reliable “fundraisers,” Ann Coulter.

In an e-mail to supporters, Edwards’ wife Elizabeth described why she called in to MSNBC’s “Hardball” Tuesday. The show featured the conservative pundit, who has often attacked Edwards. This week Coulter proclaimed “If I’m going to say anything about John Edwards in the future, I’ll just wish he had been killed in a terrorist assassination plot.

Elizabeth Edwards said she decided to call the show to appeal to Coulter to stop the attacks. “I told her these kinds of personal attacks lower our political dialogue at precisely the time when we need to raise it, and set a bad example for our children,” she said. “How did she respond? Sadly, perhaps predictably, with more personal attacks.”

The e-mail is coupled with an appeal for campaign donations. “Please give what you can right now to help raise the dialogue and show that Ann Coulter-style politics will never carry the day,” Mrs. Edwards wrote.

It is the second time in as many quarters that the Edwards campaign is using Coulter for a fundraising appeal. In March, the 2004 Democratic vice presidential candidate raised “Coulter cash” after the right-wing pundit called the senator a “faggot.”

Elizabeth Edwards is a good one, Y’all.   I woulda cursed the heifer out.  It may not have solved anything but at least it would have made me feel better.  I then woulda cursed out Chris Matthews for his craven ratings grasping.   The fascist strumpet is a mouthpiece of hate and doesn’t deserve the platform.  It only legitimizes her hate.  He is beneath contempt.

Ann Coulter: Fascist Strumpet

Do you remember that time when your Mama came home disgruntled and “tore out the frame,” grumblin’ under her breath about some “white bitch” she works with that tap danced on her last nerve like a manic celebrity on “Dancing with the Stars?”

Of course you do, because she was talking about Ann Coulter’s doppelganger.  Your Mama’s nemesis is just like Ann, an obnoxious hypocrite with a sense of white entitlement and an ego larger than the circumference of the earth. She’s a privileged WASP who thinks that she’s the smartest person in the room and that your mother is better suited to be her maid, rather than her colleague.  She’s a woman whose every offensive utterance makes people scatter like projectile vomit. If your Mama ever penned a dictionary of Black Vernacular, she would put Ann Coulter’s picture beside the uncharitable definition of “White Bitch.”

Well, Chillun, it seems the High Priestess of Hate, done caught a case in her new home state of Florida.  Election officials in the sunshine state are going to prosecute a bitch for felony vote fraud. I guess the “constitutional lawyer” cut class that day in law school.  Perhaps when her case gets to court, she can begin by launching into an arrogant tirade announcing her desire to be found innocent or she’ll put rat poison in the Judge’s creme brulee. 

Then she can megalomaniacally assert that she was an integral part in bringing Bill Clinton to justice and in whose “nightmare of a presidency…there would be debates about whether to impeach or assassinate.”  Skillfully leaving the threat of assassination in the air, she can then demand the Judge dismiss the case, he will indignantly refuse, pronounce her narrow ass guilty of vote fraud and for being a fascist strumpet, and sentence her to five years of torture in Abu Ghraib prison.

After her release from prison, she can publish a memoir about her experiences and call it: GUTLESS.