Going along with the trend that Mike Huckabee started, Barack Obama released a Christmas ad to the voters in the early states. In my minds eye, after nearly a year of campaigning, I’ve envisioned the process of cutting this ad in the following parody.
1st script, first take
Michelle: We’re the Huxtables…
Director: CUT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Take two
Michelle: We’re the Obamas, coming to you once again to shamelessly pander……..
Director: CUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Take three
Michelle: We’d like to take a moment to thank you and your family for the curiosity and blank stares displayed on your pasty white faces as you’ve marveled over how my Black, Ivy League educated husband can so articulately express himself in a way that is so raceless and non-threatening.
Barack: In this commercialized holiday season, we’re reminded of the conspicuous consumption and right-wing laisse faire capitalism that unites us as a people. It is more powerful and enduring than anything any one candidate will say or do and it damn sure won’t change if you vote for me. So from our bougie Huxtableesque family to yours, I’m the great white liberal hope, Barack Obama and I approved this family friendly propaganda.
Malia: Merry Christmas
Sasha: Mama, who y’all talking too?
Michelle says through clenched teeth: Say your line, baby.
Sasha: Mama, you didn’t answer my question.
Malia: Daddy, are we done? Can we go home now?
Barack through a frozen smile: No, Malia. Sasha, say your line.
Sasha: Y’all been frontin for these white folks for a year and I am tired. When is this gonna be over?
Director: CUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The final product.
Michelle: We’d like to take a moment to thank you and your family for the warmth and friendship that you’ve shown ours, for sharing your hospitality, and your stories.
Barack: In this holiday season, we’re reminded that the things that unite us as a people are more powerful and enduring than anything that sets us apart and we all have a stake in each other, in something larger than ourselves. So from our family to yours, I’m Barack Obama and I approve this message.
Malia: Merry Christmas.
Sasha: Happy Holidays.