Dear Brothas and Sistahs,
If you would like to waste Sunday mornings traversing around the country with Bill Clinton on his fruitless quest to regain the fawning favor of churchgoing African Americans-we want you, Negro. Apparently not satisfied that he has forever burned his bridge to the black community, the forty-second President is in desperate need of Negroes to travel with him and show the chronically stupid among us that voting for Miz Hillary is still “all’ight.” That’s where your dumb ass comes in. If you’re not thoroughly embarrassed to be seen with and for the Clintons, please give the campaign a call. All expenses and meals will be paid since Hillary kicked in $5 million before Super Tuesday.
It doesn’t matter if you’re a crackhead, homeless, an ex-con, or a sycophantic member of the Congressional Black Caucus (We’ll pay y’all extra). All are welcome because we are desperate as hell.
Please be aware of the proper dress code. Tattered clothes, handkerchiefs, and blackface makeup are welcome because they help to identify you as the shameless plantation minstrels that you are. You will be photographed repeatedly with the President for our undercover propaganda campaign to fool those stupid enough to believe that the campaign still has any black grassroots support. Should the media wish to interview you do be sure to split your verbs and coon for the cameras because it lends the right touch of authenticity to our little deception.
In addition, if you have any children, please bring them. Black children are the classic Negro props White politicians have been photographing themselves with for over a generation when they don’t have a damn program to assure them of a future. In the first Clinton Administration we threw millions of black children into poverty and off of welfare to appease white suburbanites-expect more of the same the next go round.
So please join us on our journey to political irrelevancy and oblivion and call 1-800-BLACK FOOL because Hillary Clinton will be ready on day one to do absolutely nothing for the black community.
Maggie Williams, Head Negress In Charge