Obama Mania: Is Michelle Obama ready to be First Lady?

 

Mrs. Obama,

Despite what I say, it seems that your husband has ingested the Kool Aid and inhaled the smoke of the Washington chattering class and has begun charting a collision course with Hillary Clinton’s juggernaut in 2008. Have you prayed about this, honey? Do you know the Lord, girl? I mean, do you really know him? Do you know how to pray? Do you know how to take it to the Lord and leave it there? If you don’t, I’ve got a praying grandmother and I can introduce y’all.

Y’all got a good nanny? You may need one because you and the kids will become strangers during the course of a national campaign that will last for 24 months. Can your marriage withstand the separation from the kids, from each other? I know you know your husband like nobody else, but is he ready to be the Big Dog now?

This is it ma’am, the White-Man’s House, the Oval Office, being First Lady and telling a bunch of strangers children to “just say No.” “Is you ready, Baby?”, like the old folks say. Are you ready for the pressure of raising your babies in a fish bowl, the fundraising for strangers and politicians, the long hours with no pay? Are you ready for that, dear?

Are you ready for every sistah in the land to copy every shoe you put on your foot, every suit you put on your back, every hairstyle and color you sport? Are you prepared to keep your man in check as well as everyone around him? Do you have the fortitude to tell him he’s wrong and the strength to defend him when you disagree? Do you have what it takes to tell your husband to “fire that bastard, NOW!”, because he’s more concerned about himself than the President’s Agenda?

Are you prepared for a bunch of right-wing fascists to investigate your private life, the administration, your collective families: Cousins doughboy, and sheniqua? Are you ready for a hostile press to cut up your husband’s initiatives and to eviscerate his character so that he isn’t even recognizable to you? Are you ready for a bunch of blood thirsty, right-wing vampires to suck the life out of your husband’s Administration and the joy out of your lives? Could you go through Impeachment?

Could you emotionally withstand the daily threat of an Assassination attempt on your husband? Could you deal with him being shot and surviving? Could you carry the emotional burden of his death and still survive?

Lastly, are you ready for every two-bit tramp and hussy that is willing to prostrate herself at your husband’s feet, willing to do anything and everything for the chance to be near his masculine power? Can you deal, girl? Again, do you know the Lord, honey? Do you know how to pray?

America will be watching, praying, and waiting for your decision.